Hamas: No blue eyed virgins for Jihadist’s in Heaven

All Muslims ‘Holy warriors” that hoped for a blond virgin: Think again.

Hamas leader Ahmed Bahr is not a blue eyed politician. He promise Muslims dusky beauties in the Heavens.

“In the Garden of Eden, there is a palace… with 500 gates. At every gate, there are 5,000 black-eyed virgins. Brothers, 500 multiplied by 5,000 is 2.5 million.”

This is a message from Palestinian Authority Hamas legislative Speaker Ahmad Bahr. He has been updated with vital information from the “Heavens”. The number of virgins for suicide bombers have increased from 72 to 2.5 million. These virgins are waiting for “martyrs” upon their arrival  “in the Garden of Eden.”

Most Muslim preachers and politicians have used the expression “72 virgins” to encourage Arab youth to be ready to die in anti-Israeli terrorist attacks and suicide bombings.

He said in his speech, aired on Hamas television, that men “should be praying for a son who would wage Jihad for the sake of Allah… As long as we continue on this path, nobody on Earth will be able to confront the resistance, or to confront the mujahedeen, those who worship Allah and seek martyrdom.”

Source: MEMI.org

My comment:

The Muslims should have learnt from their Sharia Law, that permits followers of Islam to have four wives. It will sooner than later become an economical nightmare to have four ladies roaming around with credit cards.

How will a Muslim man be able to entertain 5.000 Arabian virgins?

Such Arabian nights will surely not be a cake walk even for the biggest of Casanovas. For a person who has more than enough with one wife, this grand event in the Heavens, might turn out to be the real nightmare.

Anyhow: Who wants to end up in a place without blue eyed blonds?

First published: September 17th, 2010.

Written by Ivar

5 thoughts on “Hamas: No blue eyed virgins for Jihadist’s in Heaven

  1. 1. How will a Muslim man be able to entertain 5.000 Arabian virgins? – Very Interesting:

    I guess the only way a muslim man will be able to handle 5,000 Arabian wives is that, when he dies he will turn into a Rephaim or an Ananuki these giants had ample strength. Gen.6:

    2. Re. the number of wives, it doesn’t matter if he has 4 wives or 10 wives, they immigrate easily to America, Canada, UK, Australia, and live out on our tax payer dollars. How Lucky! & That’s so smart!

  2. Four wives roaming around with credit cards! I don’t know, as a woman, whether to be amused or insulted! (Actually I laughed at this – know I have to really watch myself if I get hold of a credit card).

  3. I would not want to end up in a heaven without blue eyed blonds! That beeing said, I would not want to end up in a heaven without green eyed blonds either. Or blonds of any eye color. Or women of any hair color combined with any eye color.

    PS: Have you ever seen a woman (or at least a virgin…) with BLACK eyes?

  4. I guess if there are more than 500 “martyrs” there will be less than 5000 virgins for each, but anyhow; a brotherly advice: you might gain some credability on loosing the mocking-undertones, that have come to the surface in some of your last entries.

    1. Johna.

      Shalom, and thanks for this comment.

      You wrote:

      I guess if there are more than 500 “martyrs” there will be less than 5000 virgins for each, but anyhow; a brotherly advice: you might gain some credability on loosing the mocking-undertones, that have come to the surface in some of your last entries.

      My reply:

      I have to confess that this article was written with a huge portion of irony. Because I want the Muslims to reflect where all this virgins would come from.

      And all of these virgins being black eyed?

      I have not heard of Muslim cultures preserving virgins. To the radical opposite, many Muslim men marry minors, and have multiple wife’s. The Sharia law permit them to have four wife’s, a law that create a shortage of wife’s, and injustice to both men and women.

      So were are all these virgins going to come from?

      I know that the Catholic Church tries to preserve virgins for the Heavens. They are called nuns. Are the Islamic martyr’s and the nun going to end up in the same place?

      Is so, I am not sure that Heaven will be their final destination.

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